by Christi Krug
In today’s world, it can seem an impossible task to get quality time with the people we love. Work keeps us busy and our gadgets do, too. A recent Stanford University study[1] determined that the average young person spends six and a half hours “plugged into” media every day. Connecting with partners and kids has become trickier than ever.
Here are five strategies for finding more face time.
1. Travel together. There is nothing like a shared adventure to bring family closer. Although road trips and vacations can be scenes for high drama—arguments in the back seat, wrong directions, grumpy teenagers, —these events are key memories that everyone will later smile about. The trips don’t have to be lengthy or expensive. Weekend jaunts to see a drive-in movie, visit a water park, or go camping will create moments when everyone is playing rather than plugging in.
2. Take time to Learn. Learning a new skill is a great way to spend time together and may create a lasting hobby everyone can share and enjoy. Pottery, learning an instrument, motorcycle safety classes — any number of things are available, just check your local community bulletin for a list of classes.
3. Create mealtime rituals. The dinner table can be a wired-free zone, where no texting or television is allowed. If you need to accommodate activities, experiment to find out what fits. Make it a habit for the family to eat together, even if dinnertime needs to be earlier or later on certain evenings. Weekend breakfasts can be a relaxed and delicious way to gather as well.
4. Make home the hub. Go through all the activities of your household, and see if any could be brought into the home. Maybe Jennifer’s piano teacher could come to the house, cutting down on driving time, and also allowing other family members to be present. Or perhaps a home gym could substitute for a membership, enabling you and your partner to work out together. Even church could be a home experience. One family created their own worship service for a once-a-month shared ritual.
5. Work with body clocks. If your partner or kids have different rhythms, accommodate them. I’m a morning person, but my teen daughter is a night owl and never wants to talk in the mornings. I started taking short naps in order to be present when she starts getting chatty—around 10 pm. By contrast, my partner gets up an hour before I do. After he’s had space to himself, we have some low-key together time.
6. Sync work, play and life schedules. In our blended family, my partner and I worked with the other parents so that we could share weekends with our kids all together, going on hikes or playing board games at home. My dad works nights, but starts his day by having dinner with my mom and brother. One couple I know commutes to different cities, but they have lunch at a midway spot on a regular basis.
Having quality time together may be challenging, but it’s far from impossible. With good planning, you can design a schedule that reaps the rewards of closeness.
[1] http://www.kff.org/entmedia/upload/Executive-Summary-Generation-M-Media-in-the-Lives-of-8-18-Year-olds.pdf
