Your life changes completely when you have your first baby, and getting used to your new role can be quite the challenge! You’ll have to recover from pregnancy and birth, and get used to caring for a small baby while only having a minimal amount of sleep. Then, you’ll either stay at home with your baby and miss your job, or leave your baby with another caregiver while you work and miss your little one!
It’s also pretty likely that your relationship with your partner will change a lot once you become parents. And, as if all that wasn’t enough, everyone you know (and a few random strangers, too!) will have their own opinions on how you should parent your baby. It’s no wonder that so many women have feel a bit shaky. How can you become confident in your new role as a mom?
Accept “good enough”
Being the new parent of a tiny baby means you have to let go of preconceived ideas about what mothering is all about, and trusting your instincts often works much better than making rational decisions on the basis of stuff you read in lots of different books and magazines. Loving your baby and meeting his or her needs (which are still rather basic!) is great. Getting outside without baby spit or milky, wet rings on your t-shirt is fantastic. Having an immaculately clean house, a newborn who sleeps through the night, and a flat tummy a few weeks postpartum is a fantasy. Stop comparing yourself to other moms who always look so organized (looks deceive!), or listening to your grandma’s comments about how things should be done. Perfect doesn’t exist, and good enough is just that — good enough! So, try to go with the flow and enjoy the early months of your child’s life without worrying about your performance.
When in doubt, ask
Trusting your intuition is totally compatible with asking others for help when you feel you need it. Little babies can be a big mystery. When yours cries for a long time, hasn’t pooped the whole day, or refuses to nurse, it’s normal to be really worried. Asking a trusted relative, friend, or doctor about any situation that makes you feel uneasy goes a long way. More experienced parents can often reassure you that the difficulty you are dealing with is quite common, and they may be able to suggest solutions. Even if they can’t, a listening and sympathetic ear is always good to have around.
Exercise
Working out for only 30 minutes a day is enough to help you shed those postpartum pounds. Almost all new moms feel more confident when they are happy with the way they look. But, exercising does more than encourage weight loss after pregnancy — it also releases endorfins that will make you feel more positive and energetic. Walking and jogging are both doable with your baby, if you have a good stroller or baby carrier. Going for a stroll outside with your baby gives you both a vitamin D boost too.
Eat healthily
When you’re busy looking after a baby all day, caring for your own health may not be your priority anymore. But eating a healthy diet, and not skipping any meals, is an essential ingredient to create a happy and energetic mom.
Olivia blogs about fertility, pregnancy signs and symptoms and parenting at Trying To Conceive. Her free ovulation calendar helps women who are trying for a baby pinpoint their most fertile days.
